Top 5 Christmas Movies

Who doesn't love a good list? I know I do. Top 10 (or 40, 100, etc.) lists are great because they are subjective opinions of someone that can be put up for debate on a personal level. I mean, who doesn't like to debate the list of 5 best baseball uniforms of the last 20 years? So, in what I hope to be a semi-regular addition to the site, I am sticking with the Christmas spirit and presenting my top 5 Christmas movies of all time. If you don't agree, feel free to post your own in the comments at the bottom. Enjoy...

5. Trading Places

OK, I know it's not really a Christmas movie so much as it is a movie that takes place during Christmas. But how can you not like the scene with a down-on-his-luck Dan Akroyd showing up at his office Christmas party (at the company that had fired him for possessing PCP which had been planted in his jacket) dressed as Santa Claus. Now picture him dirty and drunk with the Santa beard hanging around his neck instead of his face. Pretty funny, right? Then watch him as he tries to stuff the entire buffet spread into his Santa suit and then eat salmon through his beard. Good times. Oh, and you can't forget Eddie Murphy in his absolute prime before he started doing those awful "Nutty Professor Doolittle" movies.

Memorable Quote: "I am Nanja-Ebakor, exchange student from Cameroon. It's beef jerky time. You want some beef jerky? It's good, you know."

4. It's a Wonderful Life

I've actually never seen this movie. I have no idea if it's any good or not, but since it runs pretty much constantly on cable during the Christmas season, it must be pretty good, right? Plus Jimmy Stewart's in it and I love the Dana Carvey impression of him.

Memorable Quote: "God bless us, everyone!" (I told you I hadn't seen it.)

3. A Christmas Story

I can't explain exactly why I like this and I definitely can't explain why it got its cult-like status over 10 years after it was released. It's so popular that TBS runs it for 24 hours on Christmas Eve / Christmas Day. It's a good movie, but isn't 24 hours a little bit of overkill? Do they really have people that sit and watch it all day? Do people flip through the channels at 3:30 in the morning and stop to see that kid stick his tongue to the frozen pole? Why does THIS movie get the 24 hour treatment, yet no other movie ever made in the history of movies gets the same status? I need answers, people. On the same note, could we not figure out a way to have Bull Durham run all day on ESPN the day before opening day? Someone needs to make this happen.

Memorable Quote: "My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master."

2. Elf

I just saw this movie for the first time a couple of weeks ago, but I've already seen it at least a half dozen times. This is mainly because Mackenzie, for some reason, loves the movie. She usually asks at least once every night, "Weff?" Will Ferrell give his best performance since playing the role of Gene Frenkle in the Blue Oyster Cult Behind the Music skit on Saturday Night Live. Elf would have definitely been better had it had a little more cowbell. Gotta have more cowbell, baby!

Memorable Quote: "First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse cookie dough as fast as we can, and then to finish...we'll snuggle."

1. Christmas Vacation

It has become a family tradition to watch this movie at least once over Thanksgiving and then once during the Christmas break going back to college. I've noticed, after so many viewings, that I am able to work quotes from the movie into seemingly endless situations. For instance, when Emily hears something quiet and asks, "Can you hear that?" I respond by saying, "Jesus, Bethany. You couldn't hear a dumptruck driving through a nitroglycerine plant." I'm sure that doesn't annoy anybody in the least.

Memorable Quote: "Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d*ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-a**, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey sh*t he is. Hallelujah. Holy sh*t. Where's the Tylenol?"

  • Posted: Dec 16 , 2004 @ 10:36 PM

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