Prom Dance Contest

I want to apologize about not getting a new story up on my page in a timely fashion, but I finally got a little time to put the newest addition to our online "book." Scott Quinn e-mailed this one to me a little while ago, and it is another classic high school story. I still have one from Kristin Clark waiting in the wings, but I am still looking for more additions all the time. PLEASE, for the LOVE OF GOD, e-mail me some good stories. I know you have them, so just take 10 minutes and write them out and send them to me. You will even see your name in lights on my web page...free publicity. You can't beat that!

Thanks again, Scott!

This is really a Scott Quinn story, but it speaks to how EVIL your precious Ferg can be...

Mt. Vernon Township High School (home of the Rams!) held its Junior-Senior Prom in late May in the Hotel Formerly Known as the Ramada (it's now a Holiday Inn, you see). MVTHS is known 'round the world for the graceful ballroom dancers that have walked its halls in the past....

Ferg is one of those great dancers. As is his friend and dance partner for the evening being recalled, Scott Pittman. And, as we soon found out, Scott Quinn was not quite in their league...

"Time for the dance contest!" Coach Andy Wells called out. "Grab your date and shake your thing!"

Couples quickly began to pair off. Ferg and Scott Pittman were among the first to strut onto the wooden dance floor of the Ballroom. Other couples joined them, but they were of no concern to Ferg. "We can take these chumps," he confidently stated to his partner.

"Oh no!" a voice from the crowd (thought to be Mark D. Swan) cried out. Swan had just noticed that Scott Quinn (not to be confused with Scott Pittman) had wandered onto the dance floor. Quinn stood alone.

Quinn ordered the D.J. to hit the music. "Just Another Dream" by Cathy Dennis of D-MOB fame began to play. Quinn was a dancing fool, but Ferg and Pittman were up to the task and equalled Quinn's every dance step. Sweat flew from the brows of all three men.

Soon, all the other couples quit. Some were too tired. Some wanted to watch Chris Reeves mash with his date. But most HAD to stop to watch the duel between the team of Ferg and Pittman, and their archrival, Scott Quinn.

The Cathy Dennis Song came to a stop. Coach Wells called for the audience to clap for who they felt was the winner. The applause was relatively equal, though most will now admit that Quinn won round one. "I can't tell." Coach Wells announced. "We'll do one more song to declare the winner."

Dee-Light's "Groove Is In The Heart" began playing. Quinn continued to dance like a champion. However, he was beginning to fatigue because he had both his and his date's chicken cordon blue in his stomach. Ferg noticed this and called for a double closeline. Pittman helped him out and the attack was on! Hundreds of students stood and cheered as the dance contest had turned into a brutal wrestling match. Ferg shook off a punishing drop kick from Quinn, and nailed his advisary in a neck-wrenching pile driver. Quinn was woosy and wanted to get off the dance floor.

None of the students would let Quinn escape. "Your winning the contest," they told him as they pushed him back onto the dance floor to sustain an even greater beating from Bret "Hit Man" Hart's biggest fan. Ferg put Quinn in a "Boston Crab." This submission hold stretched Quinn's abdominal muscles nearly to the breaking point. Quinn did not want to submit, but the onslaught was just too much. The two chicken cordon blues were ripping away at his insides. Quinn fled for the cover of the closest men's restroom. He pushed a student aside, and hurled!

And what a hurling it was! The hurl escaped Quinn's body so fast that it broke the sound barrier. A sonic boom was heard throughout Mt. Vernon. "I've never seen a man in a tuxedo move like that in my life," Quinn later said of Ferg. "I'm just thankful he had mercy on me so I didn't have to hurl in front of my date."

Editors note:
An interesting side note to this story is that Paul and Scott did win the dance contest hands down. Their prize: a cassette tape of Vanilla Ice's "To the Extreme." Paul still listens to it every night.